Sunday, August 28, 2005
and she looks into a shattered world
and thinks to herself
"that used to be me"
what do you want?
what do you choose?
will this ever be the same again?
maybe, i need to see the daylight...
leave behind this half life,
don't you see i'm breaking down?
lately it seems that everyone's life is messed up. Chelle's theory is that when stress levels are high, everyone's problems surface... and clare guesses it's sorta true with the BMB midsem coming up that's worth 15%.
For once, Clare's content with her life, but everyone else she knows is searching for something... looking for what they think will satisfy them... is Clare satisfied? Close to as can be, she'd think.
A close friend of hers said something along this line :
"just as much as you love being in love, you have to walk the single path alone as well... as much as it hurts, as lonely as it gets, you really get to learn about yourself, you know what you want to achieve for or get."
and she realised how true that was. last yr and all really made her more comfortable with who she was... in Singapore she used to walk in someone else's shadow, and never had any time to herself, to try and 'discover' or understand what she was looking for. Consequently, she ended up going out with some of the least desirable characters.
What does she want ? All she wants is someone to be there for her,when life gets tough and she wants to shut it out. Someone who will share his life with her, who will laugh with her and someone who will be willing to listen to her problems, and share HIS problems with her...that's all she wants.
and lately, the crew she's been with.. the collagens.. they're evolving. Half are going for the med ball (anthony + tiff), half for the st cats ball (chelle + flik + her + daniel + edmond), and one for no ball (gordon). ok, so maybe it's 1/4 med ball and 3/4 st cats ball... and there seems to be 3 apple stories evolving WITHIN the group... will they ever ripen? she does not know... all she can do is.. observe and see...
我真的懂 你不是喜新厌旧
是我没有 陪在你身边 当你寂寞时候
别再看着我 说着你爱过 别太伤痛
我不难过 这不算什么
只是为什么眼泪会流 我也不懂
- wo bu nan guo - stephanie sun
* written in 3rd person POV.
x[clare]x pouring out her unconfused soul @ 9:57 AM
